Oh boy, oh girl
by Yennefer
Summary: "Am I going to survive the next few minutes?" Athrun asked deadly serious, smelling trouble in the air. Cagalli snorted. "It depends on how you'll react," she said, throwing the pregnancy kit at him. / Modern AU


**Dedicated for Hall1990. Thank you for your help, I appreciate it more that I could ever express**.

**Edited by tiny little robots (wielbię cię!)** **:)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam SEED or the clone aka Destiny**

* * *

**Oh boy, oh girl**

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Cagalli was staring blankly at her fifth positive pregnancy kit. Yes, fifth. She could pretend that the previous four had some defects or whatever, but all of the kits couldn't be wrong.

She sighed and flicked the pregnancy kit. Nothing. Still positive. The two dark lines didn't magically disappear. Not that she believed it would help, of course.

"Damn." Cagalli lay back on the bed and stared angrily at the ceiling. When the hell did that happen? She tried to trace all the times when they had sex recently… but she gave up quickly. Too many possibilities!

Then she heard sounds of someone entering the apartment. Cagalli growled and got up. She needed talk to her boyfriend slash father of their future child.

Athrun was clumsily taking his shoes off, looking like … well, shit. His hair was disheveled, there were dark bags under his eyes, his cloths were rumpled and stained.

"You have no idea how tired I am." He didn't look up when he heard her approaching. "They brought us 67 victims of food poisoning from the elementary school and I spent the whole morning trying to avoid being thrown up on, mission failed, and then…" Athrun would happily continue talking about his damned life of the ER resident but then he looked up at the dark face of his girlfriend and immediately shut up.

Athrun blinked. And blinked again. "Am I going to survive the next few minutes?" He asked deadly serious, smelling trouble in the air.

Cagalli snorted. "It depends on how you'll react," she said, throwing the pregnancy kit at him.

He caught it and stared at it blankly for the whole three minutes.

"Well?" Cagalli finally snapped, tapping her foot on the floor rather loudly, watching him like a hawk.

"Well, I think we don't need to worry about getting you pregnant for the next nine months," he answered flatly.

Cagalli was staring grimly at his numb and a little shocked self for a few moments. "Actually, you are right," she said, as she grabbed his shirt, dragging him straight into their bedroom.

"What the - " Athrun squeaked when Cagalli threw him on the bed. She sat on his abdomen, and started to unbutton his shirt.

"Cagalli?"

"Athrun," she murmured with a sweet, sweet voice and he shivered a little. "In this moment, I can start panicking and crying hysterically, murder you or have some pleasure. It's your call." Cagalli gave him a predatory smile with a hint of panic in the trembling corner of her mouth.

Without a word he pulled her into his arms.

* * *

"We need to tell my parents." Cagalli said, plastered to his naked side, running her fingers on his chest. "Father is going to kill you."

"Yeah." Athrun sighed painfully, frowning at the ceiling.

Since the very beginning, Haruma wasn't a fan of him. Or, more precisely, Cagalli's dad wasn't a fan of the Zala family in general. The Zala's and the Yamato's were running the two most famous and successful law firms in the region and aside from the epic battles in the court, their hobbies included typical stuff like stealing clients from each other, nasty comments in the local newspapers and other shit. So no, Haruma wasn't his fan and Athrun got an impression that the lawyer was dreaming about shooting his ass with a cannon.

"And we need to tell Kira." Cagalli sighed. "You know, he still thinks you hit on me only to made him pay."

"What? That's ridiculous." Athrun rolled his eyes.

"Is it?" She raised her head and rested her chin on his chest, looking at Athrun with some mischievous mirth in her eyes. "He stole a fiancée from you after all. Knocking his beloved twin sister up would be such a fantastic payback."

Athrun slowly raised his head and look at the joking (he really hoped…) girl.

"Please, I didn't even know you were his sister that night."

What can a guy do when his fiancé informs him that she was breaking up their engagement and kinda was seeing his best friend for some time? The only option was to drown his disbelief, blindness, bruised ego and stupidity in alcohol.

Meeting a blonde stranger on that night –who was dealing with her own problems, was a simple coincidence. Or maybe fate? What should have ended after a one-night stand, evolved into a long termed… a little crazy if you asked him, relationship.

After a year, he sometimes wondered what was his fucking brain thinking during his boring engagement with Lacus. Did he really think they were a perfect match? He felt like an useless decoration stuck to her side on the boring social meetings. Did she really have to be so controlling? Choosing the brand of his suits was ok, but the color of his damned shorts? Athrun rolled his eyes. Yes, he was a pussy whip in his relationship with the pop queen.

"Besides, I got my payback when I beat him up the next day..." Athrun blinked. "During your family meeting… Maybe there are more reasons why your parents don't like me."

Cagalli chuckled. "You think?" The memory of him bursting into the Athha's mansion and fighting with her brother was epic… and hot.

Two days before that, she finally came back from Orb after living there for years. At the beginning she went there for medical treatment, to dealt with her poor health condition. Her health improved but she stayed to finish her middle and high school education (she really didn't want to leave her friends). Aunt Via and uncle Uzumi were treating her like a daughter and Cagalli, after she grew more and more apart from her biological parents and brother, started to consider Orb as her true home.

She started university with her high school sweetheart Ahmed, seriously rainbows and unicorns. But things started to fall apart, assholish boyfriend and failed courses included.

When the frustration had reached the boiling point, she packed her stuff and flew home. But after spending few hours with her family she started to think about returning to Orb. Her parents sent Orb a sweet, innocent and fragile child. What they got in return was a strong willed, independent and bold woman. What a shock.

After a whole day with them, she excused herself and went straight to a pub and met a blue haired loser with some fiancée crisis. They were the perfect drinking buds that night. Cagalli remembered that she drunkenly advised him to simply beat the supposed best friend. And there was sex. Cagalli didn't remember, but she guessed it was a nice experience, because after that there was some more sex.

When she sneaked out in the morning, Cagalli was sure that she was not going to see the guy never again. But she didn't foresee that the guy took her advice to his heart. So unexpectedly they met again, on her family dinner party. It was kinda cute, when they suddenly recognized each other and shouted 'YOU!', with Athrun struggling poor Kira.

They managed to escape during the turbulence and finished up on the park. He couldn't believe that she was "the mysterious twin of Kira". Somehow they ended in his flat and yes, had sex. And they started dating, what gave her family a collective heart attack.

Cagalli smiled at her memories but then sighed. "We should inform your parents too."

"Yeah." Athrun grimaced.

He had no idea why but Patrick Zala worshipped Cagalli. On the other hand, he was sure that without her, he wouldn't be on talking terms with his father.

After high school graduation Patrick almost disowned him when Athrun announced he was not going to apply for the law studies but for the medicine. Their relationship became severely strained. But when Cagalli appeared, she impressed the old man with her easy going and charming personality. It also helped that she was a hockey fan, so together they would watch matches from time to time while drinking beer. Athrun also suspected that Patrick was beyond happy, because his son was banging _Yamato's daughter_, but yeah, maybe it was better not talk about it.

His mom on the other hand… Lenore was a sweet but a little old fashioned lady, who believed that girls should be well mannered, calm, perfect and always nice. You know, like Lacus. Cagalli though … Because of her motorbike, her wicked hockey skills, sometimes very straight-forward language and talent for drinking beer like a boss, she was on the far end on the list of ladies that were worth Lenore's son.

Too bad her son had a different opinion and would have never exchanged Cagalli for Kate Middleton or some clone.

"Maybe we could announce it on a dinner or something?"

"Yeah."

"What do you think about meeting in a restaurant, The Archangel maybe? If you say 'yeah' I'll hit you."

"Yeah… OW!" Athrun almost lost his shit when her elbow forcefully dig into his stomach.

* * *

"Ok, thank you." Athrun ended the call.

"So?" Cagalli asked, wearing his oversized t-shirt, as she dried her hair with a towel.

"I reserved a table on Friday. It's going to be a perfect family gathering," he said sarcastically.

"God, that reminds me I have a meeting with Lacus about the wedding reception tomorrow," Cagalli growled.

She suspected Lacus asked her to be the maid of honor simply to make her suffer. The talks about the colors of the maid's dresses, flowers, dinnerware, table napkins, music. Everything had to be PERFECT. Cagalli, pink or red daises? Bourgogne Chardonnay? Or Château Barreyres? Who fucking cared? Draw straws or something! But that was not something you could say to your future sister-in-law.

But maybe Lacus made her the maid of honor to spend some time together and to create sister like relationship… Or to look ladylike against the tomboy during the meetings with their mothers... Because yes, Cagalli Yamato fit better into the role of a best man. Caridad, spending time with both young women and comparing them, was more and more convinced that she gave birth to two boys.

Suddenly Cagalli smiled mischievously. She was going to be seven months pregnant on the wedding.

"It's going to be hilarious if they think you made me pregnant on purpose just to ruin their perfect wedding. Can you imagine the official picture? The angelic bride and groom and on their side me – a tomboy with a fat bump." She began to laugh a little.

Athrun chuckled and grabbed the towel from her hands. He began to rub it against her hair, attempting to help her dry the wet strands. "You know, they'll think we want to announce we are engaged."

She snorted. "And then we'll drop the bomb. My father and Kira are really going to kill you."

"You'll protect the father of your child!"

"I think I'll be occupied with running away from your mom." Cagalli smiled but it faded away when she looked seriously into his eyes. "We are going to have a baby."

"Yes, we are." He blinked, because it finally hit him hard. "Wow."

Athrun who was locked in Cagalli's fierce gaze realized suddenly how stupid he was.

He cleared his throat. "About the dinner with our families. I think we should change our plans a little."

* * *

The Archangel was the most famous, exclusive and expensive restaurant in the city, where the most interesting things could happen. Like Armageddon for example.

"They are late." Patrick sighed checking his watch.

"I'm sure it's your son fault." Haruma sipped mineral water. "Lateness runs into your family."

Patrick threw him a poisonous look, but closed his ready-to-say-something-unprintable mouth when Lenore kicked his foot under the table.

"These appetizers look delicious. What do we have here?" She smiled and took a bite.

"Creamy mushroom phyllo triangles, we ordered them as appetizers for our wedding reception." Lacus smiled gently. "Right, honey?" She put hand on Kira's knee.

Lenore thinned her mouth, Patrick rolled his eyes and Haruma's smile was triumphal.

"Lucky you, Patrick." He grinned at his eternal rival. "You are spared of the whole wedding mess, so many troubles. But Lacus is lovely, she is going to be a wonderful daughter-in-law. Oh, well, I'm sure you know that." He chuckled darkly. Caridad closed her eyes.

Zala angrily munched on the appetizers, then swallowed loudly and smiled. "I'm sure they are going to be a lovely couple. An infidel and a fiancée stealer, indeed a match made in heaven."

"Patrick!" Lenore gasped angrily and the two male Yamato's choked on the creamy mushroom phylloo triangles.

Lacus calmly sipped her tea.

"At least my son is not a psycho barbarian who throws tantrums and attacks innocent people!"

"Haruma!" Caridad cried.

"At least my son knows how to fight." Patrick smirked. "And at least I don't have a daughter who sleeps with that barbarian."

Lenore just sighed and looked apologetically at Caridad who returned the painful stare.

"You bastard." A red faced Mr. Yamato hissed. "I won't give my blessing to them! I won't allow any Zala to enter this family!"

"Oops, so we may have a problem here."

All heads turned to smiling Athrun, who was holding Cagalli's hand. Lacus raised her brows at the sight of the blonde, who was wearing a floral, light dress. Her future sister-in-law looked incredibly… girlish and radiant.

"What the hell do you mean?" Haruma growled.

"Well, he meant that we already are a family because we got married an hour ago." Cagalli grinned and waved her hand with a wedding band on her finger.

Six jaws hung wide open.

"Oh, and Cagalli is pregnant." Athrun smiled. "Have a nice meal."

And then they turned on their heels and ran from the restaurant before the shit storm begun. Thankfully, they immediately caught a cab.

"Wow, that was easier than I thought." Cagalli laughed but then she grimaced when her cell phone rung, followed a second later by Athrun's phone.

They looked at each other and simultaneously turned their cells off.

"My dear _wife_, don't you think we should fuck everything and escape to our honeymoon weekend right now?"

Cagalli put her arms around his neck. "I think it's a great idea, _husband_. But since when did you come up with such crazy ideas? Shouldn't you act in a more mature way?"

"I was mature in my previous life." He smiled.

"Oh my! And what the hell happened?" She grinned, because she perfectly knew the answer.

"I met you." Athrun leaned in to kiss her.

* * *

On a sunny day four human beings were sitting on a bench. Two were in a shock, two were too small to give a fuck.

Putting it simply, Cagalli and Athrun have just walked out from the gynecologist.

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"Shit."

"Double shit."

"We are screwed."

"Double screwed."

"Literally double screwed."

Sometimes future parents of the twins needed extra time for getting used to the fact that they… well, were screwed.

* * *

Lenore Zala was sipping champagne and watching as the groom and bride slowly danced. The wedding was perfect, the reception was fabulous and the new married couple looked extremely happy. What was surprising – she didn't feel pangs of regret when she watched Lacus and her new husband. She didn't wish anymore to see Athrun in Kira's place.

Few meters away from the dashing new couple was Athrun and his wife dancing. Not so close, because of Cagalli's swollen bump, but equally happy, in their exclusive world for two (well, four). In Lenore's eyes, Cagalli was still an unladylike hot head (few minutes ago she punched Yzak Joule when he called her fat) but… the blonde made her boy happy, and that was the most important thing.

Lenore sniffed.

"What's wrong, Len?" her husband put a hand on her shoulder.

"Patrick, I'm going to be the best nanna in the world." She answered seriously with teary eyes.

He smiled and kissed her head. "Of course you are."

_Much, much better than Yamato's wife, no doubt_. He thought but didn't say it aloud.

* * *

The door slowly opened and on swaying legs, a panting, hard breathing, almost dying, red and blue faced Athrun crawled into a hospital room.

"And here's your daddy! Late like always," Cagalli said happily, gently holding her baby girl. The boy was sleeping in a carriage, beside her bed.

Athrun sat on a chair, put his head on the bed and continued to breath rather loudly.

Cagalli looked at the excuse of her husband and clicked her tongue.

"I swear to God, if you die and leave me alone with two newborns…" The threat in her voice was more than obvious.

Athrun raised his hand and showed her three fingers.

"You need three minutes?" She asked and he showed a thumb.

After five minutes Athrun recovered a little and could communicate like a human being. Well, more or less.

"Sorry… Traffic jam… left car… need... ran… four… klicks…" He panted. "Sorry… You ok?… Me… not."

"I can see that, you idiot." Cagalli rolled her eyes. "We are fine."

After a half of an hour Athrun was able to hold his son, smiling broadly in a way that Yzak described once: a sugary sweet, Disney kinda smile with a fucking pink unicorn shitting a rainbow.

"Cagalli, our children are incredibly ugly."

His wife grinned. "Like they say: Babies take intelligence after mommies and beauty after daddies. So, our kids are going to be ugly and dumb."

The new parents looked at each other and smiled.

_But they are ours._

* * *

"You know, making twins was the best thing we could do."

It was Christmas Eve and they all gathered in the Yamato's mansion. Yes, ALL. That meant also the Zala side of the family. Miracles, miracles everywhere!

Athrun was sitting at the table, eating and amusingly watching as the grandparents from the both sides were gushing, giggling, rocking and making faces to his two little monsters. The best part - the grandparents quite naturally were exchanging the babies every half of the hour, without any drama. Athrun didn't want to think what would happen if there was only one child to share. Now? No Capulet and Montague drama anymore. Both grandfathers were talking to each other, unusually, in a civilized way. And trying to be a better granddad than the other, so Athrun grimly suspected his kids were going to be spoiled as fuck.

"I know your bed skills are extraordinary, but I doubt it mattered in this case." Cagalli was plastered to his side, with her head on his shoulder and closed eyes.

It was the first time since the labor (it was freaking four months ago!) when they were freed from the diapers, crying and cradling for more than three hours. It felt like well, Christmas.

It felt also strange because since her parents laid their eyes on the grandchildren for the first time, Cagalli and her husband's status in the Yamato's family food chain improved. Athrun stopped being 'Cagalli's husband' or 'Zala'. Athrun almost choked to death when Haruma called him by his name for the first time. And Cagalli was now 'the precious daughter'. Caridad stopped comparing her to Lacus, damn, she was now more appreciated than the pink head.

Cagalli opened her eyes and looked at her sister-in-law. The pop queen looked a little offended, because no body was interested in hearing about her dashing music career. Plus, their daughter vomited out at Lacus' dress, so she had to change it to a less spectacular dress.

Athrun was apologizing so insincerely for 'his daughter's bad behavior' that Cagalli suspected he thought it was some kind of a cold revenge or something. Men and their weird pride.

"You know, talking about bed activities." Athrun snuggled his face into her hair, sighing happily. "If they take care of our monsters so effectively, maybe we could sneak into your old room and use your bed?"

Cagalli checked her watch. "In five minutes our children are going to throw a tantrum and demand food." Their kids seconded her words and started to cry.

Athrun growled into her hair. "When the hell they will be able to feed themselves? And when the hell they will start earning money?"

Cagalli snorted and got up. "As long as we won't sell them to the slave drivers, not too soon, darling."

* * *

"Daddy."

Athrun slowly opened his eyes and checked the clock. Fucking five o'clock. He didn't want to only have an one hour nap after spending twelve hours in the ER, damn it.

"Daddy, you promised."

Athrun looked tiredly at his five year old son.

"Go or I'll kick your balls… later." Cagalli muttered from under the covers.

Without a word he dragged his ass from the warm bed. Twenty minutes later he was sitting on the porch, drinking his coffee, with Hellhound on his left and his annoyingly hyperactive son on his right.

Hellhound was their black dog they found on one of their walks. Scarred, lost and hungry, the kids refused to leave him alone. The problem was, after a year, the sweet, little puppy turned into a freaking 60 kg beast. People's faces when they were watching his kids (dragged behind the monster) were simply priceless. The irony was that the dog was a big softie and wouldn't harm a fly, unless someone was threatening his two little humans. That was Hellhound for you.

Athrun was drinking his coffee and trying to follow his son's questions. It started with a 'Do penguins have knees?' and now, thirty freaking questions later, they were on 'How hard and high do I have to jump to never fall down? Athrun's head started to throb because it was too damn early to discuss the gravity laws.

Thankfully, he was saved by the arrival of his son's heroes. Aidan gasped and finally shut up.

"Do you want to say hi to them?" Athrun asked.

Aidan nodded shyly.

"Hey guys, my son would really like to tell you something," he said when they stopped in front of two confused garbage men, who looked at the small blue head, hidden behind his dad's legs.

Then the blushing boy stuck his neck out and shyly said. "You are awesome!"

After five minutes, when they waved goodbye to the two amused guys, Aidan asked "Daddy? Can I be a garbage man, when I'm older?"

"If you still want to by that time."

"Cool! I'll tell granddads!"

"I'm sure they'll be thrilled," Athrun muttered amused, because Patrick and Haruma were dreaming that his son was going to be the best lawyer on the Earth. "So, we can return to our beds…?"

"Daaaaaad!" His son pouted. "Sleeping is for the old people!"

Athrun had never felt so old.

* * *

Cagalli tried hard not to roll her eyes. It was her niece's sixth birthday party and she was stuck in the group gathered around Lacus, who was telling the sad, sad story about how she couldn't get pregnant for the second time. Cagalli regretted the fact that she didn't follow Athrun and Yzak's steps. Both of them almost burst out laughing after they heard that Lacus and Kira scheduled their love making to two times per week. Then the two men excused themselves and went to laugh their asses off somewhere else.

Then she spotted her husband, circled by adoring little girls, painting pandas on their nails (as a doctor he had the most precise hands and was simply awesome at it). But now he was standing with Yzak and watching something through the window.

Cagalli frowned. Yzak looked grumpier than a grumpy cat and Athrun's face was smug as fuck. Without a word, she withdrew herself from the group (nobody noticed, fuck yeah!), stopped by her husband's side and followed his gaze.

She blinked. "Athrun, why is our daughter fighting with Yzak's son and more importantly why aren't you stopping them?!" Cagalli growled.

"Calm down, blondie," Yzak muttered. "Kids should solve their problems alone… That was cheating!"

"Calm down, grumpy." Athrun smirked. "Aiko just kicked his balls, besides he started it." Then he smiled broadly and Cagalli sighed. "Do you think Karl wants to make her notice him?" He watched with satisfaction how Yzak's white face turned into a beautiful shade of red. "Do you hear the wedding bells?"

"OVER MY DEAD BODY!" Yzak screamed, then suddenly opened the doors and walked into the kid's direction, like a small pissed off tank.

"Seriously?" Cagalli asked her husband. "You want to tell me you have nothing against Karl marrying our daughter?"

"Of course I have, duh." Athrun rolled his eyes. "But firstly, Yzak doesn't know that and it's the simplest way to make him boil. And secondly, I'm sure she has better taste in boys." He smiled with satisfaction.

They watched how Aiko throw the boy over her hip.

"That was awesome." Cagalli sounded proud. "Athrun, I think we failed as parents." She added after a moment.

Athrun furrowed his brows. "Hmm, probably. But as long as our kids can defend each other… I don't really care."

Together they watched as the kids finally noticed Yzak approaching and fled away. Remaining on the battlefield was red faced Karl, angry Yzak; Aiko, who folded her arms and was scowling at Yzak; and Aidan, who was standing firm on his sister's side.

Athrun sighed. "I better go there and save Yzak from our little monster's wrath."

* * *

"So, what exactly happened?" Athrun asked half of the hour later, driving home.

"Karl said you are not a true man if you know how to use nail polish." Aidan answered, sitting on his child seat while kicking his legs happily. "So I said he is dead wrong. I wanted to add he is a chicken butt face but mom said I shouldn't call people names, so I didn't."

"Good boy," Cagalli said but exchanged an amused look with Athrun. "And then what?"

"Then I said I would fight him, to defend your honor daddy, but I don't hit little kids."

"I'm flattered, but aren't you a kid too?" Athrun asked.

Aidan gasped. "I'm seven! Besides he's six, much, much younger than me."

"And then Karl called Aidan a girl," Aiko continued. "So I asked if he had something against girls, and he answered girls can't fight and are stupid."

"And then Aiko said he couldn't even touch her and he tried and failed and she kicked his butt." The twins high fived.

"Then Mr. Joule appeared and started shouting at Karl that he didn't fight like a Joule's heir and Karl started sniffing and I didn't like it, so I told to Mr. Joule that it's not Karl's fault I fight better than him," Aiko said.

"Then Mr. Joule turned red, like a baboon's ass and then you came, daddy…. Dad, are you ok?" Aidan asked concerned, when his father stopped the car in the front of their house and put his head on the steering wheel. His shoulders were shaking.

"He's fine." Cagalli sighed. "Go and free Hellhound from the corral." The kids hopped out of the car and ran to their beloved dog, who was barking and jumping like a pup.

Athrun finally burst out in laughter.

"Baboon's ass, baboon's ass. Next time I see Yzak's face I'll simply loose my shit."

Cagalli rolled her yes. "Sometimes you are impossibly immature." She tried to swat his head, but he caught her hand and kissed it.

Together they watched as their kids played with the dog.

"So, my dear wife of mine," Athrun finally said. "If we already agreed I act like a kid, maybe we could join our little monsters and compare who's more immature?"

"Pff, like you could beat me at it." Cagalli jumped out from the car.

Athrun stepped out and smiled.

Life was simply good.

**THE END**

**Thank you for reading! **


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